What should I do with my life?

11 years ago we lost our 12 year old son he turned a 4-wheeler over on himself crushing his head,this was more than we could stand it changed our lives in every way ,our lives have not been the same since. The reason I am here is I don,t know what to do at this point my wife gave up on life her health has gotten bad she gained twice her weight she want talk about us she just went back to work and it has helped but she just want take part in life she is just waisting away nothing matters. She has found a little relief with pills bad idea this has only made matters worse.She is a good person she use to laugh a lot thats what drew me to her now she never laughs never in a good mood no sex no romance no nothing, I have tried to get her to talk with someone but no good I have tried to tell her how I feel I am 51yrs old older but not dead we have been lost the past 11 yrs our lives are slipping away every day I am not ready to craw in a corner and die yet that is what it feels like but I love this woman but I get nothing from her I don,t want to leave her but I can,t go on like this. My feelings betray me in order to be with her a part of me has to die or I can,t stand the feelings I have. She was a very cheerful person before our sons death everybody loved her now she sits around with a mad sneer and she never gets out. Our lives stopped that horrible day don,t get me wrong I still miss my son more than life it,s self . Men are expected to be strong but what do we do when we grow weak tired of the same fights the same questions and never finding the answers. I think the world of her but this is not the same person I feel in love with we can,t seem to fix anything. I know when things like this happen people tend to grow apart to deal with what has happened their own way, I have read were most don't make it, Most of our friends don't have a clue as to what to say at first I got mad cause no one cared then relized they did not know what to do or say they cared just didn't know how to help . I have been told only God can help but how do I ask God to help when I am so pissed fortakingg such a good child andcausingg so much pain in our lives, some days I ask for help the next day I cuss him which scares me. What am I to do it seems I lose either way and believe me I have lost enough. Sometimes I think maybe I ask for this the first 20 yrs of my life was spent on drugs enjoying my life at others expense I just don't know any more. I know my words aren't well put but I hope you get the jest of it just need a little help getting past this if that is possible